why did i leave dc?

oh yea, its cold and it snows. but the idea of a hot sat night here is santana row. and people want to live there. well that type of people exist everywhere but im lacking diversity of culture here. its all dominated by mexicans and Vietnamese. neither cultures which spark my interest. ugh. why did i move here?

well, tomorrow at the beach shall hopefully remind me.

bit by bit

scratch scratch scratch. thats about all that comes from my voice. my kids actually did ok today - i think i scared enough of the shit out of them from the last three days so they knew not to push it today. and then tomorrows friday and i get to start ALL over again from the beginning on monday. yay. gosh, i didnt even get any hugs today. where is my lovein. well, they will prolly come tomorrow when they realize they won't see me for two whole days.

so im going to lose one of my cutest kids that has no english to another school. but who knows when that will actually happen. gotta love school districts. all about the numbers.

well, at least my partner and i are on more collaborative working terms now so thats good (in kinder here there are two teachers and classes in one classroom and we work together). i'm trying to visualize how i should display the class goal, well its really my goal for them haha. one of my advisors suggests i move the student work to my cabinets and then put the goal up on my wall. i need to make an action plan of how i am going to make it happen though. and decide if im going with the land of i can idea or with my musical rockstar idea.

ughhhh i need to sterilize my body. its infested with 10 billion five year old germs. must get voice back....

to letting go

good things of the day:

1. one of my kids put their sticker on my shoe.
2. wonderful facial
3. my car
4. whole foods
5. small groups - yay parent helpers!
6. remember kenya
7. sushi and eating haha
8. month macarena - i think they are getting it
9. i think thats it

where oh where is my voice

today sucked. sucky suck suck. i hate yelling - its really just wasted energy. but how do i avoid it? i have to talk OVER my kids because they are talking and i dont know how they will hear me otherwise. "waiting" doesn't work as well with 5 years. i might do what another teacher did today cause she got so fed up - have my kids put their heads down on their desks for 15 mins haha. don't know how well that one will work either cause they really aren't at their desks that much.

i need something interesting in my life. all there is is work. oh tomorrow i have my facial with delbar! im super pumped. gosh, that will be good. maybe it will bring my voice back. and d is so sweet. yea tomorrow will be good, well at least after work and thats when the day really begins. or at least thats when i make it start.

gosh im so pathetic. my life isnt that difficult and like rebecca said - im better than not showing up and the kids not having anyone. just gotta stay in the zen.

-c-

dealing with crack

well. the start of the new week is officially here. happy monday. anita said that i'm too young to be tired by thursday. whatever that means haha.

gosh i need to get into a workout routine/relax routine/something other than the post-work funk that i am in. its seriously sad. im still sore from hot yoga on sunday night. my legs burn!

i had an interesting phone convo with comcast this evening. it went: me complain, lady defensive, me complain, me win. haha, not really. oh good god - gotta know life is boring if i am blogging about cable tv problems. well, its corporate america in general. they've lost the meaning of pleasing the company. its get the most money possible philosophy everywhere.

that is that. lots going on. lots to do. so little time in the days. not enough days.

hmm a new start

well, this is a new phase of life for me. new town, new job. sounds like I should be on a tv drama series. speaking of which, I need to watch less tv. I guess its what working people do since there is no homework to be done. Well, I could do work and be productive but usually I'm too tired and sick of work to actually be productive. So, watching tv it is. Its sad - i'm just too tired at the end of the day to do much else. Oh I could do shopping but that wears out my wallet and me. Both of which are not good.

anyway, so this blog had a point. wait no not really. I guess the point is that this is a new phase of life for me and it should be interesting to see what it reveals.

I was asked yesterday in the car when we were driving back from san fran what I planned to do after TFA. I spouted off a couple of thoughts, none of which I have really considered but were rather mere dreams, but the question just stroke me. It reminded me of job interviews when they ask, where do you see yourself in five years. How do you answer that question correctly in a job interview anyway? I never found out - maybe thats why I didn't get a job in DC, cause I didn't have the right answer to that question for those people there. I'm not complaining - i'm happy to be here (most days, minus the teaching part haha) but there is always the what if factor. I don't see myself staying in the bay after two years but who knows. maybe I will marry rich and live contently :0) jk, I wouldn't be content with that. I need to be in africa.

so, I'm debating if I want to go on a trip next summer. I'm just not sure if I want to save up the money to do it. Abbey is in the UK for grad school and really wants me to visit - thats a pretty tempting offer. The Africa itch is still here though. Well, I was thinking, if things worked out in two years and something opened up for me to move abroad I could get some money for my car which with my savings plan might end up paying off all of my AU loans (blaghhh). listen to me, I sound like a financial specialist working on wall street.

so, the point is, I've yet to find my home. I don't think its here though, but it is kind of fun :0) okeydoke, well maybe sleep will hit me now and the week will never hit.