coda

I do need to focus more on me. I put too much of myself into relationships. I'm constantly the pursuer. I learned it from my mom. I need to learn how to be a distancer, but not in a way that's angry but rather in a way that is speaking up for my needs.

God I give you my love life. I turn it over to you. I feel like I keep taking it back and not trusting you.

Focus on self. That's hard and not pretty. Obviously easier to focus on others, its what I grew up doing.

anxiety

I feel like I'm going to throw up. Over and over and over again. God why do I have this immense weight on me? You are in control, my life is in your hands. Maybe I'm not ready. this is my body's physical response to being home. My body's physical response to dealing with me mom. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? What is really bothering me?

moment

I just need to record this day in history. I got a phone call today from my old co-worker stating that he always liked me and that I was a such a firecracker. Second, I get an email from a guy I dated saying hey that he hasn't forgotten me. Third, I had a new guy flat out ask me out.

Crazy!

outta control!

that's how I feel about life right now. I think I should get a prize for master procrastinator. If only these grad school applications would write themselves.

Life before procrastination methods was so much simpler. You just did your work. The average person ends up spending 7 years of their life span on facebook. I could just delete again but then I probably would be back to pinterest.

Blech. What a boring weekend. Lots of Parenthood. That's about all I have to say for myself.