coda

I do need to focus more on me. I put too much of myself into relationships. I'm constantly the pursuer. I learned it from my mom. I need to learn how to be a distancer, but not in a way that's angry but rather in a way that is speaking up for my needs.

God I give you my love life. I turn it over to you. I feel like I keep taking it back and not trusting you.

Focus on self. That's hard and not pretty. Obviously easier to focus on others, its what I grew up doing.