What I need to focus on right this minute: God's love. Today was a good day, weather was gorgeous. Went to the 12pm meeting which was supporting and focused on gratitude. And how I need to change my perspective. I think I've had so many life changes in the last two weeks that I'm still trying to digest. Got back from Florida, had a slew of job opportunities come through, experiencing feelings of loss and the reality of life. Even just a switch from the laid back flow of florida to the hustle and bustle that is present here.
God I forgive L. I pray for more of your glory and grace. Allow your peace to settle in my brain - I cast out all anxiety, frustration, and anger. Give me your perspective from above. In the long run none of this will matter.
Help me to stay in today. God I thank you for blessing me with the ability to make decisions. I trust that you have put RH on my heart for a reason, and that you have opened that door for a reason. I trust your spirit guiding me and that you will be with me every day in that enviroment. You will strengthen me, protect me, and guide me. I am in your hands each and every day. I cast out all projections. I accept your love. Ughhh-acceptance aka ughceptance.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
processing
That was a really good conversation with M company. As much as I hesitate to have closure, I felt its importance. I need to do an ego check and really think about what is most important to me in this decision process. If I chose to go with company RH then I can't doubt myself. I don't want to be in an environment where I'm crying again. I really don't know which direction to go. I feel like with RH I would be challenged more so. They are two polar opposite opportunities. Some times you just pick a pill to go down the rabbit hole - they are lead to the same destination anyway.
I feel like Teresa gets me. Get me as a person. Is that what I want in my next job? Do I want to be in a more supportive environment or a more corporate environment. I felt like with M it was more fluid. My creativity would be embraced. My heart for africa would be understood. I probably wouldn't have to box my life. If I did RM I wouldn't have time for my interests.
Whichever road reveals itself it will all be good. God I am in your hands. Although I feel lost and confused - you are my constant in the storm. You are my guiding light and love. I lift my arms to you with all of my burdens that I am carrying. God grant me your release. Grant me your peace.
It is all good. All of this STUFF that is freaking me out right now is just that - stuff. It doesn't define me, it doesn't have to impact me. All I have to do is just enjoy what God has put in front of me to do for today.
I have 10 days on M if I decide I want to change my mind. I don't feel like I'll need to. I'm choosing RH based on what's most important to me in my next position which is money, learning opportunity, what's going to be the biggest boost for my career. I know RH is where God is leading. I knew that after I interviewed. Of course I fought with God on it for a couple of days but I'm now in a place of peace since I've made a decision.
God I'm just in a place of thankfulness. Whew what a full nights sleep does for me. I feel like I'm human again, like me again. God please continue to settle my heart and mind. I receive your peace and rest.
I feel like Teresa gets me. Get me as a person. Is that what I want in my next job? Do I want to be in a more supportive environment or a more corporate environment. I felt like with M it was more fluid. My creativity would be embraced. My heart for africa would be understood. I probably wouldn't have to box my life. If I did RM I wouldn't have time for my interests.
Whichever road reveals itself it will all be good. God I am in your hands. Although I feel lost and confused - you are my constant in the storm. You are my guiding light and love. I lift my arms to you with all of my burdens that I am carrying. God grant me your release. Grant me your peace.
It is all good. All of this STUFF that is freaking me out right now is just that - stuff. It doesn't define me, it doesn't have to impact me. All I have to do is just enjoy what God has put in front of me to do for today.
I have 10 days on M if I decide I want to change my mind. I don't feel like I'll need to. I'm choosing RH based on what's most important to me in my next position which is money, learning opportunity, what's going to be the biggest boost for my career. I know RH is where God is leading. I knew that after I interviewed. Of course I fought with God on it for a couple of days but I'm now in a place of peace since I've made a decision.
God I'm just in a place of thankfulness. Whew what a full nights sleep does for me. I feel like I'm human again, like me again. God please continue to settle my heart and mind. I receive your peace and rest.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
time for dancing
What I heard this morning.
You are special. You are mine. I'm whispering I love you in your ear all the time, be still enough to hear it. Lift your arms to me with your burdens so I can take them. Remember what I've told you, what I brought up for you in KC. How I've seen you. Seen you since you were a child, a teenage longing for me. Hoping for me. I am here to save. I am your savior. Come to me and drink. Rest. Live out Psalm 24. Receive.
Stop. Pray. Wait.
You are special. You are mine. I'm whispering I love you in your ear all the time, be still enough to hear it. Lift your arms to me with your burdens so I can take them. Remember what I've told you, what I brought up for you in KC. How I've seen you. Seen you since you were a child, a teenage longing for me. Hoping for me. I am here to save. I am your savior. Come to me and drink. Rest. Live out Psalm 24. Receive.
Stop. Pray. Wait.
Crossroads
The 3 most important things to me in my next job:
1) money
2) environment (recognition, fun, challenging)
3) potential for growth
RH has been very specific in terms of what #3 would look like and their expectations. I feel like RH just makes sense. I liked M is a unique place but it isn't where I feel God's call.
Lord I pray my next job would glorify you. I want my life to count for Jesus. Show me your will in this situation.
The more I think about RH the more excited I get. I don't feel the same, or as motivated, at M. I feel like my people pleasing comes out instead of my confidence. And, I prefer working with men. That is very important to me.
Other opportunities: Educate!, Cisco, and nnena's connection. These would all take time. And they won't be offering me money.
I have peace about RH. I know its right, not forever but right for now. God please grant me sleep.
1) money
2) environment (recognition, fun, challenging)
3) potential for growth
RH has been very specific in terms of what #3 would look like and their expectations. I feel like RH just makes sense. I liked M is a unique place but it isn't where I feel God's call.
Lord I pray my next job would glorify you. I want my life to count for Jesus. Show me your will in this situation.
The more I think about RH the more excited I get. I don't feel the same, or as motivated, at M. I feel like my people pleasing comes out instead of my confidence. And, I prefer working with men. That is very important to me.
Other opportunities: Educate!, Cisco, and nnena's connection. These would all take time. And they won't be offering me money.
I have peace about RH. I know its right, not forever but right for now. God please grant me sleep.
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