I look back on my life and I realize there are moments when the puzzle pieces came together. Maybe I didn't see the bigger picture but I knew what the next step should be. Leaps of faith, moments of indecision, and periods of waiting. Now - I'm in another forming/building stage. As IDEX's founder so boldly put it: learning the outside lessons to bring them back to what matters. He shared that even though he stepped away from ID after peace corps, he was able to bring back to it what he had gained from the corporate world and that my his experience stronger. It was great to have a perspective that shattered my isolation in my career path. I feel like such an outsider sometimes with my random jaunts. I trust that God will use each colorful path/period to weave together something significant. The fabric of my life (no, not cotton). As Julian put it - being on the cusp of something great. Feeling it but not knowing what it is. Knowing you are positioned in your life, on top of the wave ready to ride it out. However, I give 100% glory to God even if I did 50% of the work haha. I only did the work through his strength and grace.
I have to hold onto my joy during times of difficulty. I look back on how much complaining there is on what we don't have or how our finances determine our state of mind. It really doesn't matter. Much easier to say now that I'm employed. Even during the last two week gap (yes, I had my melt downs) I knew deep down that God had it all under control. No matter what is happening, he is in the driver seat of my life - not me. That is a choice I have to make daily, sometimes minute to minute. It goes against my flesh to surrender but to do so magnifies the spirit.
No comments:
Post a Comment